Freedom & Flourishment

Annette Marie Corwin 

2017  FREEDOM & FLOURISHMENT 

On the 16th of September, 1983, I chose to follow Jesus. For over twenty years I walked with Him as my best friend. Then in 2007, I sustained a traumatic brain injury. It permanently impaired my Cognitive ability and ended my paralegal career, my ability to sleep went from 8 blissful hours to insufficient 3-4 hours. 

Sadly, a year later, wanting no part of the "restricted obedient life," I turned away from Jesus. For the next 7 years I endured more misery than any other time in my entire adult life. My "freedom" became a dark and lonely prison.

I kept recalling this verse from Galatians in the New Testament "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Finally, 7 long years later, I returned to His embrace. He was there the whole time, arms opened wide, waiting for this choice that only I could make.

Three years later, I am quite happy to say that He is my constant companion. Life continues with its highs and lows. But I have my best of friends by my side. And that "restricted life" ... is no ball and chain. Quite the contrary, obedience to Him brings true freedom and fullness of joy.

The very interesting thing is how God has healed my "permanent Cognitive deficit" and despite insomnia I have more peace, more joy, in the midst of life's haboobs !

Seeds of Discontentment

I have lived in some beautiful places.  I grew up in Reno, where I spent many summer afternoons tubing the Truckee River or diving for rocks in the crystal clear Lake Tahoe.  Once I lived a stone's throw away from the Newport Beach ocean where I spent mornings watching dolphins frolick in the distance.  For almost a decade I lived a couple miles from the Huntington Beach pier and often my daily jogs included that pier.  I have lived the country life in Southern Oregon where I had 11 sweet hens follow me as I picked the blackberries that grew wild on our property.  At 19 I met one of my best forever friends when I lived about 100 yards from a waterfall and river in the lush Redwoods of Northern California.  I spent a year working in San Francisco, the foggiest beach I've ever seen.  I enjoyed the mountains, rivers, and lakes of Colorado, and even spent a summer in a beautiful mansion in the historic district of Colorado Springs, just 3 blocks away from the biggest creek I've ever seen.
This morning I recalled, with longing, the cool breeze of the ocean.  For a long moment I engaged discontentment.
And then I thought of Jesus.  He could have lived anywhere in this world.  He could have lived in a beautiful palace on the prettiest ocean.  He spent most of His life in a barren desert that makes Phoenix look tropical.  He was not born to a wealthy family.  And during His 3 years of ministry, He didn't even have a permanent place to call home.  Scripture records that "Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."
This is not my preferred mode of life.  I love beauty in nature, especially mountains,  trees, and rivers and ahhhhhh, yes, the ocean.
At times I've questioned why I live in the hustle and bustle of a mega desert city, especially during these infernal long Phoenix summers.  Why is the girl who moved at 19 to live in the green of California because Reno wasn't green enough, living in the desert of all places? I ask God "Why did you lead me here?!"
In response, a breeze soothes my soul with the calm of peaceful serenity.  For in the deepest regions of my heart, I know without a shadow of a doubt, that this desert is exactly where I am supposed to be at this stage of my life.
The seeds of discontentment, left unchecked, can grow to abiding self pity. Instead, I choose serenity.  Knowing that the greatest adventure in life is surrender to my God.  And, even at this age, I still love adventure!