The Gift of the Thorn
By Annette Marie Carr
Written in 2018
2 Cor 12:7b-9 Message Version
"I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down. What he did, in fact, was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift; and begged God to remove it! Three times I did that and then He told me,
My grace is enough, it's all you need. My strength comes to its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began to appreciate the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size - Abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over. And so the weaker I get the stronger I become."
Recently my dear friend and spiritual mentor, Kathy Darms, encouraged me to ask God to show me the gifts I receive from my thorn in the flesh.
What are MY gifts that result from my handicaps? Certainly I can say with full belief that His power is made perfect in my weakness. But I cannot honestly say that I appreciate and am glad for them.
Here is what He has shown me so far.
Some of the handicaps ...
Depression, Traumatic brain injury, Poverty because of the disability, Chronic insomnia, Bilateral plantar fasciitis, Cancer, Allergic hives, the sometimes overwhelming feeling of being alone, the consequences of my sinful rebellion, the abuse I endured for years.
Some of the gifts...
I am constantly aware of my state of neediness. I NEED God. Sure, everybody needs God. But a lot of people can get by for weeks, months, maybe even years, or a lifetime without feeling like they have been brought down so low that the only way to get off the floor is by the hand and grace of God.
Without the abuse I would probably still looking for a human being to complete me, to rescue me. Have I mastered this? Yes and No. Sometimed I worry about losing my Social Security Disability Income, leaving me with no income. But I worry much less than before. I am learning to trust one day at a time and not worry about tomorrow. For truly today has sufficient trouble on its own!
Although I am single I am truly never alone. My God is always with me. And I am free to constantly talk to my Father and Creator, my Lord and Friend Jesus, and the Empowering Comforter and Counsellor, Holy Spirit.
I've learned that no human being can complete another human. Only God can bring completion. Human love is imperfect. Only God can love me wholly and perfectly, just as I am.
As for my troubles, God is the father of compassion & all comfort. As He comforts me in all my troubles, it enables me to comfort others with the same comfort I receive from Him.
If I did not have these limitations I would not turn to Jesus very much. My own tendancy is very autonomous, even prideful & judgmental. With these limitations I find myself consistently turning to and depending on Him. It is His job to finish the work He began in me. I just have to choose, my way or His. There are times I feel myself wince when I chose His way, to "offer my body as a living sacrifice." I foolishly listen to the enemy who says that God's plans for me are not good, but only painful. However, satan is a liar. Even though God does allow much hardship in my life there will be good that results from every single hardship. God's Word promised this and He always keeps His promises.
He does not expect me to endure my limitations in my own strength. So I exercise wisdom when I turn to Him for the ability to not only endure and persevere, but also to somehow walk in peace and joy, in the midst of hardship.
A respected pastor/professor/counselor shared a prayer with me today. It greatly ministered to me as confirmation in what God is showing me. The part that meant the most was ...
"Eternal God, Heavenly Father, Maker of Heaven and Earth,
We have gathered here in your name -
To acknowledge that our lives
Are best lived with the knowledge that
Of ourselves we cannot do anything.
You, O God, are our strength in our weakness,
Our wisdom in seasons of confusion
Our hope in times of despair and
Our light in moments of darkness."
Author of prayer Ron Friesen
I will continue to ask for healing. I know He is able. But should He choose to let certain thorns remain, my heart's desire is to allow them to bring me closer to Jesus and let the limitations bring much fruit to His glory.
2 Cor 12:7b-9 Message Version
"I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down. What he did, in fact, was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift; and begged God to remove it! Three times I did that and then He told me,
My grace is enough, it's all you need. My strength comes to its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began to appreciate the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size - Abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over. And so the weaker I get the stronger I become."
Recently my dear friend and spiritual mentor, Kathy Darms, encouraged me to ask God to show me the gifts I receive from my thorn in the flesh.
What are MY gifts that result from my handicaps? Certainly I can say with full belief that His power is made perfect in my weakness. But I cannot honestly say that I appreciate and am glad for them.
Here is what He has shown me so far.
Some of the handicaps ...
Depression, Traumatic brain injury, Poverty because of the disability, Chronic insomnia, Bilateral plantar fasciitis, Cancer, Allergic hives, the sometimes overwhelming feeling of being alone, the consequences of my sinful rebellion, the abuse I endured for years.
Some of the gifts...
I am constantly aware of my state of neediness. I NEED God. Sure, everybody needs God. But a lot of people can get by for weeks, months, maybe even years, or a lifetime without feeling like they have been brought down so low that the only way to get off the floor is by the hand and grace of God.
Without the abuse I would probably still looking for a human being to complete me, to rescue me. Have I mastered this? Yes and No. Sometimed I worry about losing my Social Security Disability Income, leaving me with no income. But I worry much less than before. I am learning to trust one day at a time and not worry about tomorrow. For truly today has sufficient trouble on its own!
Although I am single I am truly never alone. My God is always with me. And I am free to constantly talk to my Father and Creator, my Lord and Friend Jesus, and the Empowering Comforter and Counsellor, Holy Spirit.
I've learned that no human being can complete another human. Only God can bring completion. Human love is imperfect. Only God can love me wholly and perfectly, just as I am.
As for my troubles, God is the father of compassion & all comfort. As He comforts me in all my troubles, it enables me to comfort others with the same comfort I receive from Him.
If I did not have these limitations I would not turn to Jesus very much. My own tendancy is very autonomous, even prideful & judgmental. With these limitations I find myself consistently turning to and depending on Him. It is His job to finish the work He began in me. I just have to choose, my way or His. There are times I feel myself wince when I chose His way, to "offer my body as a living sacrifice." I foolishly listen to the enemy who says that God's plans for me are not good, but only painful. However, satan is a liar. Even though God does allow much hardship in my life there will be good that results from every single hardship. God's Word promised this and He always keeps His promises.
He does not expect me to endure my limitations in my own strength. So I exercise wisdom when I turn to Him for the ability to not only endure and persevere, but also to somehow walk in peace and joy, in the midst of hardship.
A respected pastor/professor/counselor shared a prayer with me today. It greatly ministered to me as confirmation in what God is showing me. The part that meant the most was ...
"Eternal God, Heavenly Father, Maker of Heaven and Earth,
We have gathered here in your name -
To acknowledge that our lives
Are best lived with the knowledge that
Of ourselves we cannot do anything.
You, O God, are our strength in our weakness,
Our wisdom in seasons of confusion
Our hope in times of despair and
Our light in moments of darkness."
Author of prayer Ron Friesen
I will continue to ask for healing. I know He is able. But should He choose to let certain thorns remain, my heart's desire is to allow them to bring me closer to Jesus and let the limitations bring much fruit to His glory.
Beautiful testimony and outline Annette...you are also extremely transparent and open to acknowledging human weakness of the flesh...One of , if not the most important matters of our Christian lives is that we Know the Author and Finisher of our Faith...as the Faith of Jesus Christ is Perfect...God will continue to bless you Annette...as you continue to desire our King of Kings and Lord of Lords...
ReplyDelete